Hi, I am a first time goldendoodle owner and I am 100% positive the breeder I adopted my puppy from is not the puppy I picked out. Normally it would not be a huge issue for me, but I did research and decided a goldendoodle is best for me, so temperament is the biggest deciding factor. 2020 was rough and my mental health hit a real low, and part of getting mentally healthy is getting a dog with just the right temperament. In a way, I am looking for a therapy dog. Well, with this breeder, I picked out and put a deposit down on the puppy that had the most mellow, loving, calm personality. She was less than a week old at the time, but I knew she was perfect. I got to see her again at almost 3 weeks and it was the same puppy, same personality. I started bonding with her, and holding her to start that imprinting process; she was the perfect puppy for me. Well, I noticed another customer commenting on her pics saying that puppy was hers. So I contacted the breeder and asked her to identify the pups in the pics, and was all of a sudden saying that puppy belonged to the other woman. I told the breeder and she blew up at me, got upset because she felt I was accusing her of switching up puppies. Whether she did it on purpose or not, I thought she switched them up. I realized maybe I was obsessing over it too much and apologized. So pick up day, as soon as I see the breeder holding another puppy, I knew immediately it wasn't her, but I was going to try to make it work, even thought it's clearly not her. She does not have the same personality at all. She is wild, rambunctious, has no desire to please, she doesn't even like to sleep with me. She is very independent, and that's not what I need. She is not a bad puppy at all, she is just not the one I picked. I know it sounds selfish but in a way, I am being selfish, because I picked out the dog that I NEED. I did not decide to pay $1,800 for a puppy that is not the right fit for me. What do I do? I have had her almost 2 days, is it wrong to give her back to the breeder? I'm considering telling the breeder she needs to take her back and let me pick from the next litter in March, but is it too late?

First pic is the one that I picked at almost 3 weeks and second is the puppy I picked up 2 days ago 8 weeks old



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  • Hi Samara, 
    I don't think you sound selfish. I think you picked the wrong breeder. 
    That's definitely not the same puppy. 
    BUT...no even semi-responsible breeder lets people choose a puppy at 3 weeks old. And there is absolutely no way in the world that you, the breeder, or anyone else could have known anything about any given puppy's personality at one week of age, or 3 weeks of age. let alone that they would be a good therapy dog candidate. 
    I think you are also being very unrealistic about what you can expect from a young puppy. They are ALL rambunctious, they do not "want to please", and at 8 weeks old, your puppy should be in a crate at night, not sleeping with you, even if she wanted to. I have not a single doubt that even if you had gotten the puppy you wanted, she would have behaved exactly the same way as the one you have. 
    I'm also wondering about this part of your post: "I knew immediately it wasn't her, but I was going to try to make it work." Two days is not much of an attempt to make it work. You have an 8 week old baby who was taken by a stranger from her home and her family, to a completely unfamiliar situation. She needs love, patience, and understanding. 
    I can also tell you that the puppy you have is going to shed and is probably not going to have the facial furnishings that most people want in a doodle. And the breeder most likely knew that.

    Yes, you should attempt to return this puppy, for her sake. Every puppy deserves an owner who is fully committed to her and wants her with all of their heart. 

    • Out of curiosity when did your breeder match the pups for Jasper's litter? 6-7 weeks?

      I'm pretty surprised that this breeder allowed people to visit the pups at not even a week old and again at 3 weeks old. Isn't that potentially dangerous for the puppies?  I thought most breeders don't usually allow visits before 5 weeks of age.

      Our new pup's breeder didn't allow visits because of the current pandemic/lockdown situation.  Things are a bit more cautious in general up here though :p At least "on paper".  People are still being idiots and having large parties etc. on the sly. 

      I wish she'd picked the puppies later but I think we may have just gotten the "leftover" boy because others had strong colour preferences (which isn't to say that she should be picking for people because of colour, but that's pretty common with doodle litters).

      • Jasper's breeder doesn't "match" puppies like doodle breeders do. Neither do most top notch purebred breeders. Remember, they are not breeding to sell pets. They are breeding show prospects and performance prospects, and they go to appropriate homes based on that. Plus, a good purebred breeder has puppies who are very very very similar, in "type", in color, in temperament, etc. That's the whole point. She does do Volhard testing at 7 weeks. 
        I picked Jasper the day he came home at ten weeks, lol. It was basically a coin toss, lol. 

        • Ah ok, I thought they did the temperament testing then matched the puppies with homes based on that.

          It makes sense that it doesn't matter much because of the consistency of the litters.

    • The breeder told me that she would have a curly coat and furnishings, so I'm guessing she was straight up lying to me. That makes me think then that she decided to switch them because the other owner needed a "curly" puppy for her breeding program. So thanks for that. Luckily I love the way she looks; she's perfect. She is the cutest one of the whole litter. It sucks that she isn't valued as much as her "doodley" siblings.

      Thanks for the input.

      • The puppy in your first pic will definitely have a curly coat or at least wavy.  It does sound like the breeder was lying to you about the puppy you got, which is unfortunate. 

        Our first doodle was unfurnished and even though I was a bit upset at first I ended up loving it because of the low maintenance.  :)  I always loved being able to see her expressive eyes.  With our current doodle Riley with the fluff combined with her dark hair and eyes sometimes I can't even tell if she's asleep or awake!


  • If you TRULY wanted to commit, you could bond with this dog.  There is ZERO guarantee that the "other" puppy was actually any better suited.  You absolutely can NOT know a dog is sweet, gentle, mellow or loving at 3 weeks. They are barely walking and all "gentle" because they can't do anything hyper yet.  Puppies are land sharks that bounce and jump and then crash and nap. 
    I say you look deep inside yourself and decide very soon to either commit to this puppy 100% or return it.  But DO NOT go back to this breeder for another dog.  Way too messy and dishonest seeming.  

  • dear Samara, wow you are in a pickle!!  

    Here are some things that are true most of them stated by others. I just like lists.

    1.  Your attitude "I got the wrong puppy"  I wanted the "calm (LOL) puppy.  No blame on you.  You did get the wrong puppy.

    2.  All puppies are hyper to some extent and it increases with age.  That said there are easier puppies and harder puppies.

    3.  It sounds like you and an "easier" puppy would be a better match.  

    4. Only you can decide to make it work.  You must fall in love with the puppy you have to make it work.  The easiest puppy in the world will have days that try your patience to the breaking point.

    5. No puppy will change your change your mental health all by himself.  2020 was a challenge for everyone and lots and lots of people who coped well for a long time need a little professional help as well as a puppy.  No blame no recommendation, I am just saying i am 74 and been through a lot and I have some pretty bad days. My dogs are awesome for me but they are not the whole answer.

    6. A puppy is a dog is a lifetime commitment.  If you fall in love no problem, if you are just slogging through not going to turn out well.

    7. If you keep this puppy get puppy help now!! Find a trainer do some zoom,and in person social disstanced, masks,  one on ones. Visit the puppy section on Doodlekisses by all means, but get some real life help for you and the puppy.

    My opinion

    1. You absolutely picked the wrong breeder.  Take the puppy back.  If you really decide to do this contact the bank that is holding the check or credit card and explain that you got scammed.  No blame on you - the breeder is at fault.

    2.A reputable breeder will take a puppy back in a heartbeat.  There are three people out there looking for a doodle for every doodle born. (The breeder may take a "small" ($500 or less) return fee, especially if you placed a deposit and put money down.)





    • I understand and thank you. I know puppies are far from calm but maybe my expectations were too high. Our dog of 12 years passed in July and I had never had a dog that was amazing as her. She had the right temperament for our family from the day we brought her home, which I don't believe any temperament is bad or any dog is bad. I just believe some are more suited for others. This puppy on the other hand has been the most strong-willed, sassy, and stubborn of all of her littermates(I have videos from the breeder) lol. A puppy is not just my one step to being healthier mentally, it's just one part of the whole process among other efforts suggested by my therapist. Regardless, the breeder is all of a sudden not answering me back, so I believe fate has put this puppy in my hands. I will make it work with her.

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