About a year ago, we had a rabbit named Stewpid coming into our yard on a daily basis and reeking havoc on my life.
Stewpid was causing me sleepless nights because my dogs sensed he was out there and they wanted to meet him personally. I said some pretty mean things about Stewpid and even plotted his demise at one point. He wasn’t the first rabbit that had come into our yard, but he was the most persistent. One of his friends wasn’t so lucky one day when he met Fudge and let’s just say he left the yard via a shovel. Even that, didn’t scare off little Stewpid or cause him to get so mad that he said to himself, “I am starting to sense that rabbits are not welcome here,” because he just kept coming back.
Then one day, as suddenly as he appeared, Stewpid was gone and I assumed he met Mrs. Stewpid and left to travel the world. From time to time, other DK members swore they saw him in their yard and over time and with more sleep, I began to hope he was happy living somewhere else. Well, guess what? The little guy is back and by himself, which means Mrs. Stewpid probably dumped him when he said he wanted to go back to boring PA. I am sure she is probably whooping it up somewhere like Vegas with one of those handsome, magician’s rabbits, who spends his nights under the bright lights getting pulled out of a hat. Fame and fortune is hard to resist even for a rabbit.
I know it is Stewpid by the way he sits in the yard in full view of our windows and turns his head from side to side when he hears the violent barking of two Doodles coming from inside the house. He twitches his little nose and his ears perk up, but he never moves. He is probably thinking, “There is that weird sound again.” Yesterday, Fudge actually moved my furniture when she airlifted off the sofa to get a better look at Stewpid. I hate to say it, but if it comes down to Stewpid or my sofa, it’s been nice knowing you, Stewpid. If this keeps up much longer, I am anticipating needing a new foyer window as two large Doodles break it in an attempt to welcome Stewpid back to the neighborhood.
I really want to settle this amicably, but when you are working with a dimwitted rabbit it makes the going hard. So, today, I am posting an eviction notice in our yard and I hope Stewpid can read or else I am going to have to resort to drawing a rabbit with a large red line going through his body and pray Stewpid makes the correlation.
My only other option is to draw a tombstone with "R.I.P. Stewpid" on it, but I am really hoping it doesn’t come down to that. Stewpid, take a chance. Surely, there is another rabbit out there for you and we have a beautiful state park nearby where I am sure you could live happily ever after.