It started with a whiff.  I smelled something strong and unpleasant in the air and after double-checking that I hadn’t forgotten to apply my deodorant, I started focusing on the most likely suspect, Vern.  I was sure it was Vern, but he didn’t smell any worse than usual, so next up was Fudge.  At last, I located the smell and sure enough, it was Fudge. The only explanation that I can think of why my clean Fudge ended up smelling badly was that maybe Vern rolled over on her one night while she was sleeping.  Since Vern keeps getting ticks, I knew that if Fudge got a bath, so would Vern. I kept debating whether or not I should call the groomer, but finally decided I could give both dogs a bath and save the money.

 

For Christmas, my husband bought me the mother of all dog hair dryers.  I honestly think it is strong enough to blow a small child into the air or clear a path through any debris. 

3356565198?profile=originalI would have to say the first setting would equal a Category 1 hurricane and the second setting needs to come with an advisory and a hurricane name.

3356565429?profile=originalHonestly, I don’t know how those Cover Girl models stay upright when the fans start blowing on them, because when I turned that dryer on myself to see how I looked as a sexy, windblown model, my daughter started laughing and said, “mom, all your loose skin is flapping all over the place.” 

3356565614?profile=originalI highly doubt Heidi Klum hears it put quite that way.

 

First things first, and I started with Vern, who is actually quite good about stepping into the tub on his own.  I washed him off, towel dried him as best as I could, and sent him to my husband and daughter for the blow-drying step in the grooming process.  Next, was Fudge.  Fudge is a little quicker than Vern in figuring out that water running in the tub means she is going to get a bath and she needed far more persuading than Vern did to get in that tub.  In fact, I had to lift her into the tub and put her in my best wrestling hold until she came around to my way of thinking. 

3356565640?profile=originalThankfully, after a few seconds, she decided that warm water and scrubbing felt pretty good and she was great.  Once, the bath was over, I towel dried her and sent her out to the drying team.  Now, you know I try never to be critical of family members, but from here on out, I will be referring to the drying team as Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

3356565730?profile=original When I got out to our foyer where the Tweedles had set up shop, poor Vern was hovering in a corner as Dee and Dum had the dryer on the Hurricane setting and were working feverishly to dry him. I quickly pointed out that the setting was too high and a good way to tell this in the future was to pay attention to his ears and if they were standing straight up on his head like a Jackrabbit’s, turn the dryer down. 

3356565751?profile=originalDum can be a bit argumentative, and tried to justify the high setting by blaming it on the fact that Vern kept trying to escape.  Next, I tried to reason with them and told them if someone was drying your hair on a wind tunnel setting and it made you feel as if your eyes were being blown to the back of your head, you might not like it either, and they responded that they would like me to take the dryer and put it on the highest setting and do something with it that I was not sure I could physically achieve.  I did ask for a demonstration, but Dee and Dum declined.

3356565822?profile=original Luckily, for Fudge, I took over the drying for her and Vern was able to make his getaway and leave Fudge at the mercy of the dryer. “Every man or dog for himself,” seemed to be Vern’s motto.  The Tweedles tried to argue their case again and stated that Vern was doing exactly what he had done for them by running to the living room and they continued to maintain that ganging up on a sweet, innocent dog, with a powerful piece of equipment, was warranted.  Once Vern saw the dryer was in the hands of a calmer, more patient individual, he did venture back into the foyer and I was able to continue drying him from afar.  Fudge, on the other hand, seemed to love the pampering and almost fell asleep while she was being dried and stroked.

3356565866?profile=original

After the drying was over, Vern jumped up on the couch with me for some hugs. 

3356565896?profile=originalThe moral of this story is:  If you don’t want your dog to have PTDD (Post Traumatic Drying Disorder) hire better help!

 

Tweedledee and Tweedledum

Agreed to help with drying

For Tweedledum said Tweedledee

By herself, would start Vern crying

 

The dryer was turned up too high

Thinking it would be much quicker

They cared naught about ears or eyes

Causing all involved to bicker

 

They quickly proved that two parts

Does not always equal great sums

When it comes to calculating sense and smarts

And hereafter are known as Tweedledums



All is forgiven:

3356566015?profile=original

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Comments

  • Thank you, F and Sherri!! Sherri, I hope you are not so young you did not know who Erma Bombeck was.....or am I that old? LOL

    Lisa, I listed the brand in one of the comments. It is a Master Blaster and don't say that three times fast....LOL!! Thank you! The dryer really is great.

    Thanks, Doris....I think...LOL!!

  • Good quotes Sherri, and yes, Laurie could have said them all.

  • The last two photos are wonderful (love your glam shot too- ha ha), doesn't look like they are any worse for the wear.

    Now tell me about that hair dryer, I want one!

  • Ok, I had to look up Erma Bombeck but I'm glad I did. here is a list of quotes from her and every one of them is something Laurie could have said. I think Charolotte is on to something.

    • "Insanity is hereditary. You can catch it from your kids."
    • "My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first one being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."
    • "There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child."
    • "If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead."
    • "Mothers-in-law who wear a black armband to the wedding are expendable."
    • "The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again."
    • "Ironed Sheets are a health hazard."
    • "Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage."
    • "Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely."
    • "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'"
    • "In general, my children refused to eat anything that hadn't danced on TV."
    • "When humor goes, there goes civilization."
    • "Seize the moment. Think of all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart."
    • "Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth."
    • "The grass is always greener over the septic tank."
    • "A child needs your love more when he deserves it least."
    • "There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt."
    • "It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else."
    • "If you can laugh at it, you can live with it."
    • "I told you I was sick." (She requested this to be her epitaph.)
  • LOL F - I think that's how it works with shaving. I know Sophie probably lost a good half kg in fur! Maybe I should try it sometime! lol.

  • You CRACK me up!

    Great blog, great pics! You better stick to blogging as I'm not sure the modeling world is quite ready for you!
  • Thank you!! Much better :)

  • Better?

    3365983423?profile=original

  • Oh, I thought I was complying as I always try to do  ; )

  • F, You know that is not what I am talking about, but thank you for the effort :) LOL

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